Sunday, October 4, 2009

Split in two

I can't help but pretend that even the newest news in my life seems a bit of a stretch. A smack to the face, something that even I couldn't have predicted or expected. I guess this is how the Lord tries our faith.

I got a call a week ago from my old boss. It was a Saturday and I was spending the day with a few close friends of mine for a birthday party. We had just finished our pedicures and were killing time while our freshly painted toes threatened to dent or get banged up. This call was unexpected, even when I saw his name I assumed it was to answer a question my replacement wouldn't know or instruct him on how to complete a report. He let me know that he had just returned from Denver where they discussed in detail the position they once had offered me. They had come to the conclusion that the position needed to be filled and this was the reason for the call. Dave was calling to re-offer me the job in Denver. He asked me to think about it and let him know Monday.

My immediate thoughts were to turn it down, I had just gotten situated here. I was in a new position, a new place of living, a new point in my life. It wasn't until Saturday night when I spoke to a good friend that my eyes were opened up a little. I literally felt like I was being pulled in half (I had some VERY interesting dreams these nights). So what should I do??

Over the next few days, I felt like I was on the phone every second I wasn't working. Asking for advice, sharing thoughts that others had and hoping that this person would give me insight that I had overlooked. I prayed. I prayed so much hoping that the Lord would bless me with peace of mind while I made this difficult decision. I talked in detail with my boss... what risks was I taking by accepting the job? Would I get more money? Training etc. I spoke with my bishop, and he reassured me that I needed to do what was best for me. I shouldn't care what others think that it comes down to what is best for me. I talked to my dad. His words of affirmation and advice pierced my soul and calmed me; and then I asked for a blessing from two worthy priesthood holders.

I was reassured in my blessing that I would have a good night's rest. (Something that I had lost out on since I received the call.) I was promised that I would feel more capable of making this decision after this nights rest. I was also promised that no matter what decision I choose to make I would be successful in it. So I did just that... I slept so well and the next morning, after saying a prayer I made the decision. Immediately following this, my mind was cleared. I felt like the weight I was carrying was lifted from my shoulders and since making this decision. I've had nothing but peace of mind. Even when I start feeling moments of doubt, its immediately washed away with reassurance.

So what decision did I make... I moving back to Colorado. Tuesday Oct 13th will be my last day in Utah. I trust in the Lord that this is the decision he wanted me to make and so I go in Faith.


Carrie said...

Jennie! We love you. You mean the world to us!

jennsekona said...

Jennie- While I am undoubtedly sad for myself- I am so unbelievably excited for you and the new adventures you will have and challenges you will face. I am anxious for that peace of mind in my own life with the choices we are making...I wish you all the best!! Thank goodness for facebook and text messages! We really do need to have lunch or starbucks or something before you head east again!!

Adam and Shari Crawford said...

Wow! What a roller coaster ;) You are amazing, and I'm glad you have put so much thought and prayer into everything. Have fun!